4) Short Irish jokes: Paddy went to the doctor’s and more What I want to know is, can I sue Guinness for all dem ugly women It made me sleep with.
“That’s right,” said the lawyer.” But why are you asking?” “Yep.” “And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldn’t read?”
“And that a lady sued McDonald’s for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered?” “And now someone is suin’ dem fast food restaurants for makin’ dem fat an’ cloggin’ their arteries with all dem der burgers an’ fries, is that true?” “Yes, Patrick, sure is true,” responded the lawyer. “They go SPLBLBLBLBT.”ģ) Irish Jokes: Can I blame it on Guinness?:ĭublin’s Patrick O’Shea called his lawyer and asked, “Is it true they are suin’ dem der cigarette companies for causin’ people to get cancer?” “How do they pee, then?” asks the Englishman. “Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again, I’ll Chop his The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a “Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard!” he says. They all goĪn hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. “Oh, all right.” the Englishman says sullenly. The Irishman replies, “Have some respect. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Raspberry, “SPLBLBLBLT!,” right in the face and runs back to The green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter.Īs he’s drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had too many drinks says, “Hey, what’s that little green thing down there?” “It was all the bloody skipping that killed him!” 2) Irish joke about the leprechaun:Īn Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. “I’m very sorry to hear that,” says the doctor, “I thought if he took those tablets, he would be all right.”, “Oh, the tablets were fine,” says Mrs Murphy,
“Oh, he died of a heart attack,” says Mrs Murphy. “Two weeks later, the doctor walks down the street and sees the patient’s wife.” Hello Mrs Murphy,” he says, “how’s your husband?” “So the doctor gives the man the tablets, and the patient asks, “Do I have to take them every day?” No,” replies the doctor, “take one on a Monday, skip the Tuesday, take one on Wednesday, skip the Thursday and go on like that. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, “You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay.
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